Husband For Sale or Lease/Purchase

I thought as a good wife the least I could do is start marketing my husband, or the new term "Wasband" because he is a pretty good deal.

Most people assume you end a marriage because one of the partners is defective in some way. I can't speak for me, as I am a work in progress, but he is just fine. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and I came to a point where I realized our relationship had long fizzled out and that we were just buddies. Some folks can settle for that, but I never settle. So I could continue to make us both miserable, or go seek my life bliss somewhere else. Not necessarily a man or relationship, just maybe finish goals that I set long ago and never actualized.

So, I have a nice husband up for grabs.

Let me list some of his ammenities and attributes:

• He's a hard working man that served his country most of his adult life. He works as a DoD contractor now at Moody AFB.
• He can fix anything of a mechanical, electronic sort.
• He's tidy and can cook sort of.
• He comes with a great insurance package, including vision and dental.
• He's attractive. Yes, he has miles on him, but who doesn't. He's got lots more miles to go.
• His kids are grown and he is neutered.
• He has a new motorcycle and likes to ride it.
• All of his parts still work (you know what I'm saying).
• He won't push his parts on you with any disregard for your feelings.
• He doesn't stay out all night drinking and lose track of time.
• You will never be a hunting/fishing/football widow.
• He has all of his teeth (it's South Georgia for God's sake therefore a valid concern).

I haven't decided on an asking price yet, but I'm willing to do a lease purchase to the best qualified candidate. You need to:

• Preferably be brunette.
• Have a weight and height that are proportionate. He likes a woman with curves so you don't have to be a stick figure.
• Be able to make sausage and biscuits at least once a month. His blood pressure is a little high, so don't let him sneak snacks. He hides them in his car, so make sure you sweep the car for the stash weekly.
• Drive the speed limit and obey traffic laws. He is very hung up on that, but considering my driving record its understandable. In fact, please submit a MVR with your application.
• Shove him out of his comfort zone often.
• Be willing to empty the cat box. Since I've gone, the duty or doody has become his least favorite chore. Its not the highlight of his day by any means.

Other than that you two can work out any other particulars. I'll be working on an application package this week, so stay posted. Please email all inquiries to me at thejuvedermdelinquent@yahoo.com. Include a recent picture and brief biography, resume, and marital expectations.

P.S. That is not a picture of him above, but a stock photo I found online. Serious applicants will receive a picture when they have completed the application.

Good Luck!